There is only one thing most of us fear more than change: when things stay the same.

Change is inevitable. We know this. We long for it. We imagine how our lives will be better when things change; when we get a new job, find a new mate, lose 10 pounds or renovate the kitchen. It’s human nature to strive for more and better and to desire and manufacture change.

Sometimes we have the will and the power to make massive changes in our lives. We can and do transform our lives. The change is well thought -out and conscientiously executed. Small steps are taken in order and contingencies are accounted for.

But often change is not so simple. The change we long for sometimes comes in ways we don’t expect. An unanticipated incident sets off a cascade of events and suddenly everything is turned on its head. The well though out plan gets thrown out the window. The change is either less dramatic or more chaotic than we imagined it would be. The road to other side is longer and the view is different than we expected. It may be better! Or it may not be. But it is different.

We long for change because we imagine we can control change. Not only do we imagine change will be better, but we believe we can orchestrate the change so it turns out exactly how we want.

More often, change is thrust upon us when we least expect it. Circumstances dictate the change and we can exert only the subtlest impact if any at all. This is why we fear change and resist against it. We may not like the way things are, but at least we know what to expect. Better the devil we know than the devil we don’t know.

Without change there can be no growth. Without acceptance of change, whether positive or negative, there can be no peace.

As our lives and our needs change, we adjust. It’s easiest of course to adjust to changes we perceive as positive. But even changes that we perceive as negative can have a positive effect on our lives. If we adapt to the change, embrace it and learn from it opportunities open up. New ideas and options grow.

Some say experience is what you get when you don’t get what you expected.  Life is never what we expect. That’s part of the fun!